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The importance of confidence
#1
P T Barnum said. "There's a sucker born every minute", and of course, there are many confidence tricksters around who are all too ready to relieve them of their loot.

Two main levers of confidence tricksters are gullibility and greed. They exploit the incautious and naive and offer something for nothing as an appeal to our natural desires.

Gullibility is the tendency some people have to trust people too easily and hence be open to deception.
Discussion

'Guile', the use of tricks to deceive someone, is the opposite of gullibility. A person who is gullible is open to guile.

Gullibility can come from several sources:

Lack of experience
Young people and those who have lived a relatively sheltered life may well be more gullible. If all you have known is trustworthiness then you will give trust without question or suspicion. If people have been largely trustworthy, you will be largely trusting.

Lack of education
You do not have to experience bad people to limit your trust. There is plenty of information on the TV and in other media to indicate the need for caution. Yet somehow some people do not seem to take this in and cling to a more trusting position than is wise.

Need to be liked

Many people want to fit in with others, to be accepted and admired. If they have a higher need for this then they may well be less judging of others and more ready to accept whatever they are told.

Need to obey

There are many rules, values, norms and so on within our lives that we are supposed to obey. Some people will blindly follow all such rules whilst others may be more cautious.

Those who follow rules are more easily deceived by others who utilize existing rules or explain that rules they propose must be followed.

Personality

In addition to the points above, there are other personality factors that may lead people to be more gullible. These may include:

Openness in being ready to listen and accept what others say.
Warmth in accepting and caring for others as they come.
Those who decide by a relatively immature 'gut feel'.
Those who are shy and deferential rather than seeking to lead.
Those who are less apprehensive or worry about the future.

Ceding trust

We all have a need for a sense of control. It is a fundamental driver of how we live. When we feel in control we can predict what may happen, change things to best suit us and cope with problems. Control gives us the power to achieve our needs and goals.

We get this sense of trust in two ways: we can take control or we can cede control. This is like driving the car or trusting the driver.

Ceding control allows others to have control over our lives. Trust is essential in order to sustain our sense of control when we cede control. When others have control, we are vulnerable. They could use their control of situations to achieve their goals at our expense or otherwise harm us.

Ceding control is often done with an assumption of care by the party who is taking control. I will trust you if you care for me. This is like a parent-child relationship where the parent has control but cares for the child, who trusts the parent to support them.

We cede control to many others, including governments, family, friends and employers
. We even trust strangers in the street and drivers on the road to decide and act in ways that will not harm us.

Betrayal and control

There is a paradox of control and trust. Trust leads to ceding of control, yet wielding of that control can lead to the loss of trust and, ultimately control. When others who we have trusted betray the trust we have placed in them, it destroys our sense of control and hence our trust.

A typical response to betrayals is to grab back control in order to protect oneself and also to punish the other person. A betrayed person typically seeks justice, and in doing so places themself in the control positions of police, judge and jury.

There is distinct potential for an extreme response to betrayal, which acts an encouragement of those to whom others have ceded control to refrain from breaking that trust. Personal values also discourage betrayal, including the general 'golden rule' of 'do to others as you would have them do to you'.

Social norms and cultural rules act to support trust and provide legitimization for restoration and punishment after a betrayal. This not only allows the betrayed person from grabbing back control but also encourages others to engage in the corrective activity.

The operation of many relationships and workplaces can be understood through the locus of control and the dynamics of trust and betrayal. We cede control to employers but then lose trust in them as they seem not to care for us. This can lead to parent-child patterns, including sulking, spite and other dysfunctions in the relationship.
So what?

If you are changing the minds of others and you want them to trust you, show that you will not use the ceded power against them and work to provide ongoing evidence of your trustworthiness.

Also seek to provide visible confirmation that supports their sense of control, for example by giving them choices and involving them in decisions.

If you must trust others, then be sure of that trust or else retain enough control so you can take action if the trust is broken.

Think for yourself

...tell the person next to you ..You Love Them.
Knock and the door will be opened.

Cognitive Dissident...
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#2
Always be careful where you place your trust. Don't be greedy and be especially careful where you seem to be getting something very cheaply or for nothing. Don't collaborate in anything illegal, especially with people you don't know.

Also, It is wise to be very cautious of things that are more ordinary. It has been said that if something seems too good to be true, the confidence person is not very competent. The best are so persuasive and make so much sense, you never know you are on the line until it is too late.

And of course, don't stoop to harming others in ways such as these. Con tricks are at best immoral and at worst highly illegal.

Think for yourself

...tell the person next to you ..You Love Them.
Knock and the door will be opened.

Cognitive Dissident...
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#3
The Ponzi Scheme

First invent a plausible way of making a lot of money, preferably over the shorter term. This should be easy to describe, although it must also be based on some knowledge or connection you have that is not accessible to others. It should also appear to be foolproof.

Then get people to invest. This may be a relatively small amount at first, but for higher returns will soon become a large amount.

Pay earlier investors with the money received from subsequent investors, so it appears as if the scheme is working. Encourage successful investors to re-invest their earnings and to invest more money in the scheme.

Keep a proportion of the money yourself.

If the scheme works, it will grow rapidly. Details may be spread through promotion and word of mouth from paid-off investors. It helps a lot if you can get high-credibility investors to publicly support the scheme.

When you run out of investors, declare bankruptcy and otherwise avoid your many creditors.



The Ponzi scheme is named after Charles Ponzi, an Italian immigrant to Boston, who in 1920 offered a chance of easy money with a growth of 50% in 45 days. The idea was that of 'arbitrage', where converting dollars to other currencies and back again, minor differences in exchange rates meant that you could end up with more money than you started with. Ponzi was likely inspired by a former bank employer who funded high savings rates from investments, and William F. Miller, a Brooklyn bookkeeper who ran a similar arbitrage scam in 1899.

As with other confidence tricks, the basic lever is greed. Many people will fall for the idea of a guaranteed get-rich-quick promise. More recently, Bernard Madoff admitted in 2008 to defrauding $50 billion via his much-vaunted hedge fund.

There is also a feedback spiral, where early returns are used to confirm the validity and reliability of the scheme, so attracting greater and greater attention and investment. This leads to what has been called 'bubble'. Even legitimate growth has its limits, but Ponzi schemes promise endless growth at incredible rates. And in blind greed, investors believe the promise. There is also a significant social pressure in the way that people see acquaintances and others getting rich and who encourage them to join in.

As any scheme has time limits, its success depends on the speed and intensity of growth and 'spreading the word' is critical. Ponzi paid agents generous commissions on the investments they brought in. Within six months, Ponzi (in 1920) had brought in millions of dollars.

There are assorted variants on the Ponzi scheme. Madoff actually did run a hedge fund, but he inflated its apparent returns by paying investors with the money from other investors.


Watch your wallet when the flimflam man comes a knockin'

Think for yourself

...tell the person next to you ..You Love Them.
Knock and the door will be opened.

Cognitive Dissident...
9mms, CrypticMole, Hazmat  likes this!
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#4
(01-12-2020, 04:05 PM)Frigg Wrote: P T Barnum said. "There's a sucker born every minute", and of course, there are many confidence tricksters around who are all too ready to relieve them of their loot.

Two main levers of confidence tricksters are gullibility and greed. They exploit the incautious and naive and offer something for nothing as an appeal to our natural desires.

Gullibility is the tendency some people have to trust people too easily and hence be open to deception.
Discussion

'Guile', the use of tricks to deceive someone, is the opposite of gullibility. A person who is gullible is open to guile.

Gullibility can come from several sources:

Lack of experience
Young people and those who have lived a relatively sheltered life may well be more gullible. If all you have known is trustworthiness then you will give trust without question or suspicion. If people have been largely trustworthy, you will be largely trusting.

Lack of education
You do not have to experience bad people to limit your trust. There is plenty of information on the TV and in other media to indicate the need for caution. Yet somehow some people do not seem to take this in and cling to a more trusting position than is wise.

Need to be liked

Many people want to fit in with others, to be accepted and admired. If they have a higher need for this then they may well be less judging of others and more ready to accept whatever they are told.

Need to obey

There are many rules, values, norms and so on within our lives that we are supposed to obey. Some people will blindly follow all such rules whilst others may be more cautious.

Those who follow rules are more easily deceived by others who utilize existing rules or explain that rules they propose must be followed.

Personality

In addition to the points above, there are other personality factors that may lead people to be more gullible. These may include:

   Openness in being ready to listen and accept what others say.
   Warmth in accepting and caring for others as they come.
   Those who decide by a relatively immature 'gut feel'.
   Those who are shy and deferential rather than seeking to lead.
   Those who are less apprehensive or worry about the future.

Ceding trust

We all have a need for a sense of control. It is a fundamental driver of how we live. When we feel in control we can predict what may happen, change things to best suit us and cope with problems. Control gives us the power to achieve our needs and goals.

We get this sense of trust in two ways: we can take control or we can cede control. This is like driving the car or trusting the driver.

Ceding control allows others to have control over our lives. Trust is essential in order to sustain our sense of control when we cede control. When others have control, we are vulnerable. They could use their control of situations to achieve their goals at our expense or otherwise harm us.

Ceding control is often done with an assumption of care by the party who is taking control. I will trust you if you care for me. This is like a parent-child relationship where the parent has control but cares for the child, who trusts the parent to support them.

We cede control to many others, including governments, family, friends and employers
. We even trust strangers in the street and drivers on the road to decide and act in ways that will not harm us.

Betrayal and control

There is a paradox of control and trust. Trust leads to ceding of control, yet wielding of that control can lead to the loss of trust and, ultimately control. When others who we have trusted betray the trust we have placed in them, it destroys our sense of control and hence our trust.

A typical response to betrayals is to grab back control in order to protect oneself and also to punish the other person. A betrayed person typically seeks justice, and in doing so places themself in the control positions of police, judge and jury.

There is distinct potential for an extreme response to betrayal, which acts an encouragement of those to whom others have ceded control to refrain from breaking that trust. Personal values also discourage betrayal, including the general 'golden rule' of 'do to others as you would have them do to you'.

Social norms and cultural rules act to support trust and provide legitimization for restoration and punishment after a betrayal. This not only allows the betrayed person from grabbing back control but also encourages others to engage in the corrective activity.

The operation of many relationships and workplaces can be understood through the locus of control and the dynamics of trust and betrayal. We cede control to employers but then lose trust in them as they seem not to care for us. This can lead to parent-child patterns, including sulking, spite and other dysfunctions in the relationship.
So what?

If you are changing the minds of others and you want them to trust you, show that you will not use the ceded power against them and work to provide ongoing evidence of your trustworthiness.

Also seek to provide visible confirmation that supports their sense of control, for example by giving them choices and involving them in decisions.

If you must trust others, then be sure of that trust or else retain enough control so you can take action if the trust is broken.

Check, check, check. Yeah3
9mms, Frigg, Hazmat  likes this!
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#5
Persuasion: Definition = Giving reasons, cause or grounds to someone to think or do something, usually as the result of an effort to convince using arguments and sound reasoning.


Top 10 Persuasion Tips
1) Create Equilateral Understanding

The better you understand others you are trying to persuade, the easier time you will have helping to see the conclusion you want them to come to.

Babies have an innate ability to know how to communicate numerous wants and needs by the way they cry. Babies and especially mothers have an understanding with each other. Children also have an understanding of their parents. They use that understanding to persuade their parents to do what they want. Good parents put limitations on what they allow. In business, persuasion is essential to success.

To get to know others, their world and their situation requires the skillful use of questions. Not prying and invasive questions, rather questions to discover their wants, needs and desires related to your ability to fill their needs. Once the discovery process is complete, consider their viewpoint. This is not about you, it is about them. If you were them, what would you do (not need to do)? What would you feel? What would you think.

At this point an ethical challenge faces you. When you let go of the outcome and focus on what is in the best interest of the person you are trying to persuade, you will succeed beyond your expectations.

Make it your purpose of every encounter to understand.

In addition to understanding, the second top 10 Persuasion Tips involves you.

2) Set the Mood to Positive

You can control the moment and the situation if you choose to.

Start by giving a smile to the people you are trying to persuade. Give a sincere and honest compliment. Make the other person feel comfortable and be there as a friend and neighbor first. Create a caring atmosphere.

Make the mood a positive one. Learn how to master the mood of your encounters.

Creating a positive mood will help others to enjoy a positive experience. Now, to add to their experience, the third of the top 10 persuasion tips.

3) Mirror The Person Your Trying to Persuade

Mirroring is a form of imitation. Imitate their speech, their posture and their manners.
Mirror Their Speech

People usually speak with in their dominant sense. Consider the ways someone could answer you....

I hear what your saying, I see what you mean, I understand where your coming from, it left me with a bitter taste, it feels wrong.

When responding to the above, use the same sense. This is mirroring. So when someone says I see what you mean you would not respond with thanks for taking the time to listen to me. Rather, you would say, thanks for letting me show you.
Mirror Their Posture

Try to mirror their actions. If they are standing and you notice they cross their legs as you stand in front of them, within a few body shifts, cross your legs. At this point, stop telling or trying to persuade and return to asking questions.

If their arms are crossed, cross yours. When they uncross, you uncross shortly after.

Once you have built rapport, discovered what they are thinking and somewhat know them, it is time for the fourth of the top ten persuasion tips.

4) Appeal to Wants Over Needs

The traditional approach is to find a need and fill it. Studies show that people will buy wants before they will buy needs. When a want overlaps or supersedes a need, the chances of increasing the persuasions effectiveness.

Take for instance the art of selling. A salesman will need to constantly maintain and even improve the ability to sell. A salesman may or may not want to be the top salesman and get the benefits that go with that position.

So when I present my Social Selling Secrets program and tell him that it has produced a 37% closure rate, although too good to be true, once he sees the evidence and confirms the testimonials, he will be inclined to shell out the $5000 for my course.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I have only been able to get a 22% closure rate at the best (using old and dead leads).

Mirroring others is followed by the fifth of the top 10 persuasion tips.

5) Give Convincingly Irresistible Evidence with a Twist

Provide the proof that the object of your persuasion will work for them.

This can be in the form of testimonials. The testimonials need to follow the format of before and after benefits, highly dimensionalized results, objection overcomes comments.

The key to irresistible evidence is sharing benefits and not features. It is the benefits that will have the power to persuade.

In addition to evidence, change mid stream and establish your credentials, the sixth of the top 10 persuasion tips.

6) Be the Expert

After you have done the above, establish your expertise. Why later in the persuasion? Because it disconnects them from the persuasion. They change their thoughts and refocus on you. When they come back, they have a chance to make the persuasion their own.

As to expertise, anybody can be an expert on anything, even with out a college degree.

People prefer to follow rather than lead. They prefer to follow those who are in the know, those who are expert. The difference between anybody and an expert is dedication. Studies show that the difference between those naturally gifted and everyone else is concentration, dedication and the desire to get better.

Dr. K Anders Ericsson, a psychologist studying geniuses, prodigies and superior performers says that.....

For the superior performer the goal isn't just repeating the same thing again and again but achieving higher levels of control over every aspect of their performance. That's why they don't find practice boring. Each practice session they are working on doing something better than they did the last time.

You will need to put in the work to become an expert. Once you are, you will be able to persuade.

Some day you will hear the story of Dumpster Bruce and Blue Christmas. Dumpster Bruce was a homeless man. He is now a leading investment property buyer in my town. He teaches his knowledge for about $3500 for a weekend class.

In addition to evidence, change mid stream and establish your credentials, the seventh of the top 10 persuasion tips.

7) Be Honest, be Trustworthy

Those you are trying to persuade need to feel that you can be trusted, that you are honest.

Once when speaking to a Doctor about my specialty of health care, he retorted that it was not possible that what I proposed would work for everyone. He was surprised when I agreed and provided the statistics that proved him right.

As far as I am concerned, I do believe, as TIME magazine said, the specialty I promote is the Gold Standard of medical and surgical care. However, the doctor needed to know he could trust me. My honesty opened his mind to hear what I had to say.

Another part of being honest is admitting that you cannot help everyone. Some customers you should not persuade.

While interviewing students for one of my classes, it became apparent that there was no way to help two within the group. The class was at a local college and it involved building a successful business as part of the class.

One student wannabe had a business concept that would just not work. I even ran the numbers and there was virtually no way for him to succeed.

The other student, although having a remarkable life story, he could not remember anything for more than a few minutes. The basis for the class was remembering what you have learned and building on that.

Besides having a good feeling for doing what is right, one of the two sent me two additional customers.

Return the focus to them with the eighth of the top 10 persuasion tips.

8) Demonstrate Live WIIFM

The best way to show Whats In It For Me to those you are trying to persuade is to demonstrate it. It is quite simple. Provide them with enough information that they can prove that it will work.

This is a concept that many seasoned persuaders do not get. There is a feeling of why should I give away the store. Anthony Robbins says...

If you want to be successful, find someone who has achieved the results you want and copy what they do and you’ll achieve the same results.

Look at Billionaire Bill Gates.

He gave away the store. Only thing, to use the store you needed his baby, Windows.

This is one of the most powerful persuasive techniques and tips there is. If you give them actual usable information that they can easily implement, they will then continue to consume other information, even if it costs more.

And guess what, like Bill Gates found, it does not need to be great. It only needs to be good enough.

If you give them the information at no risk to them and they can see first hand what is in it for them, they will become raving fans of yours, if you also follow the final of the top 10 persuasion tips.

Now take rapport to a new level using the ninth of the top 10 persuasion tips.

9) Build a Relationship

Relationships are not a part of most lists on persuasion. Studies show that people are more likely to consume from people that they have a relationship with than with someone else. How do you build a relationship?

If you have done your homework, you already know their needs and wants. You know their mind set. You have established yourself as an expert and you know what part of WIIFM their brains are tuned to.

Now all you need to do is to fulfill them. If you see a way to help them get what they want, share it with them.

One accountant that wanted me to market his business. I did not want his business. He kept in touch, informing me of functions, getting me invites and getting me into networks.

As a result of this relationship, he did something that is number 10 of the top 10 persuasion tips.

10) Build Reciprocity

He landed me an $6000 dollar job. Previously I was reluctant to take him on as a client. He got me the lead asking nothing in return. His only interest was my success.

As a result of this relationship and taking a closer look at his business, I decided to take on the marketing of one aspect of his business.

Incidentally, remember number 7 of the top 10 persuasion tips on honesty and truthfulness. Well, I felt it was not possible to help him. Feeling success would be limited at the best, no time was taken to look at his needs. Because of the feeling of reciprocity along with the relationship he had built, a closer look was taken. He is now one of my clients and I am helping him build his business (as of this writing, May 2010).

11) Over Deliver

Over Deliver. Nothing will be more persuasive than giving more than you said you would. You do not need to advertise that you are. Just do it. Instead of giving 10 tips, give 11. Add that this last one was so good, you just could not keep it out of the mix. https://www.speechmastery.com/persuasion-tips.html





Keep in mind all of these tricks when you encounter proposals of any sort. Just as truly as these techniques work when you actually are honest and of integrity... because these techniques are routinely used in confidence tricks without the pesky fetters of morality, shame or personal responsibility by unscrupulous takers and self-entitled crooks of every shape, color, and size.

You name it, there is someone taking advantage of someone for it.

Think for yourself

...tell the person next to you ..You Love Them.
Knock and the door will be opened.

Cognitive Dissident...
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#6
https://youtube.com/watch?v=1YT3erQZoq4
Hazmat, Mollyblue  likes this!
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#7
There is a difference between men and women for obvious reasons.

Generally, women have been found to be far more trusting than men, it is more innate in a woman to trust, built to trust whereas men are born differently with different brains, not because of women, but because of other men and what men can do to men.

Also because some women have grown up in trusting, faithful relationships with parents, trusting women hold others to the same high standards in integrity.

People that have grown up in happy parental relationships tend to be far more trusting as they know that trust is a foundation of any real relationship and/or friendship.

Just has Jesus asked his followers to trust in him and what he was teaching, so many children have grown up in such a sound parental and/or sibling relationship. So for instance: I'm sure that Harry trusted his brother William totally and completely, until Meghan came along. Meghan didn't like the strong bond that William and Harry had together, and that they had with Kate, so it's clear that Meghan did her utmost to destroy the deep happiness and trust that they shared.

Does that trust make them better potential partners, I think it does, because when you trust, really, really trust, to show all of your trusting self, it soon shines a light on those that are not trustworthy. Trust is a great strength that the LORD has blessed many women with, trusting enough to love fully, trusting enough to respect fully, until that is not honoured.

Trust has nothing to do with confidence, and confidence has nothing to do with trust, they are totally different.

So for instance a person can trust a healer, but may not have the confidence to allow themselves to be taken into altered state. Hence their lack of confidence is in themselves and not the healer that they trust and love. See the difference?

Heartflowers
Jesus said to his healers "Do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.” Luke 10:20 A life redeemed is a life in the hands of the Lord. Every morning he brings his word of unfailing love, he leads the redeemed, in strength he guides the redeemed to his holy dwelling."The LORD will take delight in you, and your land will be married" Isaiah 62
Librarian, Mollyblue  likes this!
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#8
How Leo's end a relationship, they don't have the confidence to face their partner with it.



Jesus said to his healers "Do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.” Luke 10:20 A life redeemed is a life in the hands of the Lord. Every morning he brings his word of unfailing love, he leads the redeemed, in strength he guides the redeemed to his holy dwelling."The LORD will take delight in you, and your land will be married" Isaiah 62
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#9
up


.
Celebrating Over 30 Years as a " Designated Paper Terrorist " - I Will Stand Corrected - No Legal Advice or Recommended Course of Action Expressed or Implied

The Constitution - Estate in Trust for the Heirs of Freedom - Local Link
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#10
Well I didn't read everything (not up to reading walls of text right now), however I noted mention of essentially what amounts to confidence + scammers. Yup, the biggest scammers are also the most confident. Just think of used car salesmen. They are always very confident about the story they will spin. MSM does exactly the same.
Where there is imbalance I am the counterweight. Beware, for if you are a cause of imbalance you may not enjoy my presence.
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